








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2193 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1777 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1540 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,413 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ook Gluk | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Jazz | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | opencupboard | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ook Gluk | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Jazz | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | opencupboard | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazz | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Ook Gluk | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | opencupboard | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazz | 77 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | opencupboard | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ook Gluk | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ook Gluk | +1.74 | 42 | 35 |
| #2 | Ollie | +0.89 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | opencupboard | +0.35 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | Jazz | -0.35 | 52 | 72 |





