










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 43 | 23% |
| Smokes | 32 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 50 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 63 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,632 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kusse | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Hjemis on iceberg | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Europa Life Kiko | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | 𝖘𝖛𝖔𝖕 | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | [matras] | Snuser | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Europa Life Kiko | 18 | 0.0536 |
| #2 | Hjemis on iceberg | 5 | 0.0289 |
| #3 | kusse | 3 | 0.0224 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kusse | 38 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #2 | Hjemis on iceberg | 31 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #3 | Europa Life Kiko | 26 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | [matras] | Snuser | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝖘𝖛𝖔𝖕 | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kusse | +5.28 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Europa Life Kiko | +1.27 | 70 | 34 |
| #3 | 𝖘𝖛𝖔𝖕 | +0.45 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | Hjemis on iceberg | -0.28 | 38 | 35 |
| #5 | [matras] | Snuser | -0.29 | 72 | 47 |





