








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 482 | 33% |
| Smokes | 386 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 220 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 392 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,621 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aks | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | kel | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | fluffypuppy | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | dynasty | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Kenneth | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dynasty | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Kenneth | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Zazu | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | meow | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | hm | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kel | 7 | 0.0343 |
| #2 | meow | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | dynasty | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | aks | 4 | 0.0196 |
| #5 | hm | 4 | 0.0435 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kel | 75 | 0.37 | 2 min |
| #2 | fluffypuppy | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | meow | 61 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | dynasty | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | aks | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angelcore schizo | +5.24 | 95 | 51 |
| #2 | fluffypuppy | +4.88 | 93 | 44 |
| #3 | aks | +3.04 | 90 | 43 |
| #4 | Kenneth | +1.33 | 50 | 48 |
| #5 | kel | +0.70 | 85 | 40 |





