








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1537 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3740 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3107 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3223 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,505 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 852 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππππππππ | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Marabou | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Spyras | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | β Spliche β | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Schedin | 48% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LΓ€ngst ner som vanligt | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Marabou | 9 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Schedin | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | queefcheif | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | kevin stonehard! | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyras | +7.30 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | FlΓΆtman | +3.48 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | Bovless. | +2.78 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | β Spliche β | +1.30 | 60 | 84 |
| #5 | Marabou | +1.09 | 45 | 54 |





