








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 92 | 18% |
| Smokes | 136 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 32 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,950 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dellfu | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | Huh | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | FlyNLow | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Put it in reverse terry | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | Papa_P1ka | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuyuko | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Put it in reverse terry | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | FlyNLow | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huh | 98 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fuyuko | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Papa_P1ka | 49 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Put it in reverse terry | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | FlyNLow | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |





