










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 36% |
| Smokes | 89 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,846 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killua | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | dixienormuss | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | Piss Fungus | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | tactical | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killua | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | dixienormuss | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | Piss Fungus | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | tactical | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dixienormuss | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Killua | 2 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | tactical | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dixienormuss | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Killua | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | tactical | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Piss Fungus | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killua | +12.57 | 91 | 47 |
| #2 | Piss Fungus | -0.81 | 40 | 21 |
| #3 | dixienormuss | -0.99 | 21 | 45 |
| #4 | TemptedOne | -1.84 | 37 | 31 |
| #5 | tactical | -3.33 | 22 | 13 |





