








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5613 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6554 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5567 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4083 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,125,240 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Navy's✪ | 60% | 351 |
| #2 | ★DeadMare★ | 56% | 106 |
| #3 | Andr0ny | 56% | 225 |
| #4 | Stitch | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | MaRaDoNa_)_ | 53% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ★DeadMare★ | 56% | 106 |
| #3 | Andr0ny | 56% | 225 |
| #4 | Stitch | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | MaRaDoNa_)_ | 53% | 230 |
| #6 | Dulu21 | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRaDoNa_)_ | 46 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | ★DeadMare★ | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ✪Navy's✪ | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Andr0ny | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Dulu21 | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Navy's✪ | 746 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | MaRaDoNa_)_ | 408 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Andr0ny | 244 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | ★DeadMare★ | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dulu21 | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s@pteS- | +2.42 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | ★DeadMare★ | +2.08 | 91 | 47 |
| #3 | ✪Navy's✪ | +1.66 | 89 | 70 |
| #4 | Andr0ny | -1.47 | 73 | 39 |
| #5 | Stitch | -2.98 | 43 | 52 |





