








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 18% |
| Smokes | 758 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 582 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 613 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,635 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm Tree | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Kronk the Lever Heaver | 81% | 16 |
| #3 | ♡ P!nk_Unicorn ♡ | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Oom Cyril | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm Tree | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Kronk the Lever Heaver | 81% | 16 |
| #3 | ♡ P!nk_Unicorn ♡ | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Oom Cyril | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm Tree | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Kronk the Lever Heaver | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ P!nk_Unicorn ♡ | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kronk the Lever Heaver | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Palm Tree | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Oom Cyril | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oom Cyril | +8.04 | 94 | 24 |
| #2 | The Brood | +4.51 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | Kronk the Lever Heaver | -0.49 | 40 | 34 |
| #4 | ♡ P!nk_Unicorn ♡ | -1.71 | 29 | 43 |
| #5 | Palm Tree | -3.94 | 17 | 19 |





