








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 241 | 22% |
| Smokes | 125 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 407 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,441 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZzZz | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | 葉繼歡 | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | XICX | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | tyPhoon | 69% | 26 |
| #5 | Cancer Peppa Pig | 69% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | アズサ | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | Tsunami❤ | 30% | 10 |
| #14 | KT | 25% | 4 |
| #15 | Slay3r | 25% | 4 |
| #16 | Monk Ng | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sn0w | 151 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | tyPhoon | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | 將軍澳Forsaken | 20 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | z | 20 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tsunami❤ | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |





