








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9596 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5145 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4128 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6723 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,430,698 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 677 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | AMΞ | 50% | 566 |
| #7 | arumec | 49% | 400 |
| #8 | θεζΆιΈβη°ε€ͺηΌε€§η | 47% | 94 |
| #9 | β | 43% | 102 |
| #10 | wink~~ | 42% | 204 |





