








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 912 | 28% |
| Smokes | 756 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,172 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mestari | 47% | 95 |
| #2 | mehari | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | varjolenkkari | 44% | 68 |
| #4 | six0 | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mestari | 47% | 95 |
| #2 | mehari | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | varjolenkkari | 44% | 68 |
| #4 | six0 | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | varjolenkkari | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | six0 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mestari | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | mehari | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mehari | 362 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | varjolenkkari | 180 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | six0 | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mestari | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | six0 | +1.26 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | varjolenkkari | +0.64 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | mehari | +0.35 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | Mestari | -1.29 | 73 | 40 |
| #5 | julmajp | -1.63 | 46 | 53 |





