








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 349 | 24% |
| Smokes | 80 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,315 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Β―\_(γ)_/Β― The | Krusty | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | ππ·πΏπ²π¬π½πΎπΌ | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | eΟΔ±Β’ | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Palken Lp | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | σ ‘σ ‘ | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Β―\_(γ)_/Β― The | Krusty | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Sir_Meister | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Palken Lp | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | σ ‘σ ‘ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bud-Muecke | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Palken Lp | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sir_Meister | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | paraline | 18 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | ππ·πΏπ²π¬π½πΎπΌ | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |





