










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 24% |
| Smokes | 681 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 597 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,194 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mexican | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Tony Tony Doffy | 47% | 88 |
| #3 | TrashBoat | 41% | 108 |
| #4 | pots_n_panz | 27% | 22 |
| #5 | je69e | 24% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mexican | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Tony Tony Doffy | 47% | 88 |
| #3 | TrashBoat | 41% | 108 |
| #4 | pots_n_panz | 27% | 22 |
| #5 | je69e | 24% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrashBoat | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | je69e | 12 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Tony Tony Doffy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | pots_n_panz | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Mexican | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrashBoat | 217 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tony Tony Doffy | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | je69e | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | pots_n_panz | 33 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mexican | 24 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Tony Doffy | +1.62 | 59 | 49 |
| #2 | TrashBoat | +0.91 | 56 | 59 |
| #3 | Mexican | +0.42 | 68 | 48 |
| #4 | Dih | -0.51 | 42 | 36 |
| #5 | pots_n_panz | -3.13 | 42 | 27 |





