








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1059 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1592 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,846 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibii | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Greedy:* | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | cat | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | lil Andersson | 51% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Greedy:* | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | cat | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | lil Andersson | 51% | 128 |
| #6 | tr1axf1n | 50% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 19 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | tr1axf1n | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | lil Andersson | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Greedy:* | 7 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tr1axf1n | 296 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 286 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | lil Andersson | 270 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Greedy:* | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gibii | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil Andersson | +1.89 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Gibii | +0.92 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | tr1axf1n | +0.90 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | +0.81 | 42 | 62 |
| #5 | Greedy:* | +0.15 | 56 | 45 |





