










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 13% |
| Smokes | 262 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 773 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,810 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | i munch box | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | Chip Diamond | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | Rey Mysterio | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | Big Rex Tha Plug | 35% | 23 |
| #9 | Don't Ask/Don't Tell | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i munch box | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Squeaky Bed | 54 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chip Diamond | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rey Mysterio | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Big Rex Tha Plug | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeaky Bed | +1.60 | 59 | 48 |
| #2 | Anthem | +1.32 | 64 | 38 |
| #3 | MonicaLewinsky | +0.75 | 25 | 20 |
| #4 | Don't Ask/Don't Tell | +0.41 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | Chip Diamond | +0.31 | 21 | 52 |





