










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 29% |
| Smokes | 15 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 137 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,791 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma_baja | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | ClinicalDepression | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | monke soup | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma_baja | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | ClinicalDepression | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | monke soup | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma_baja | 7 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | monke soup | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monke soup | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | ClinicalDepression | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sigma_baja | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClinicalDepression | +7.84 | 67 | 56 |
| #2 | monke soup | +1.69 | 46 | 36 |
| #3 | Sigma_baja | -1.59 | 43 | 8 |
| #4 | UWU_DOZER_282 | -2.47 | 25 | 15 |





