








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2589 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2744 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2457 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2029 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,218 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thai Mhing | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Arvid:69✗ | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | FluxeN | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | MelleR | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | HART84 | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Arvid:69✗ | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | FluxeN | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | MelleR | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | HART84 | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | sNiF^ | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelleR | 8 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | FluxeN | 3 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Arvid:69✗ | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thai Mhing | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | MelleR | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Arvid:69✗ | 53 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | FluxeN | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | sNiF^ | 18 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FluxeN | +2.18 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | sNiF^ | +1.19 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | Dusk | +0.35 | 50 | 78 |
| #4 | MelleR | -0.35 | 50 | 55 |
| #5 | HART84 | -0.49 | 38 | 64 |





