








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3858 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3014 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1220 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2266 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,567 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_Slimy_Ass_Drips_2007_xXx | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | biggayincorperated | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | BIG DOG | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | beanboy9000 | 48% | 275 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_Slimy_Ass_Drips_2007_xXx | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | biggayincorperated | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | BIG DOG | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | beanboy9000 | 48% | 275 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beanboy9000 | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | xXx_Slimy_Ass_Drips_2007_xXx | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | biggayincorperated | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | BIG DOG | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beanboy9000 | 308 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #2 | xXx_Slimy_Ass_Drips_2007_xXx | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | biggayincorperated | 71 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | BIG DOG | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_Slimy_Ass_Drips_2007_xXx | +3.57 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | P0intZer0 (Twitch.tv/P0intZer0o) | +3.08 | 56 | 63 |
| #3 | BIG DOG | +1.05 | 55 | 27 |
| #4 | biggayincorperated | +0.54 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | beanboy9000 | -3.66 | 39 | 32 |





