








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 196 | 22% |
| Smokes | 279 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 218 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 187 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,593 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 😿relaxianion😰 | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | kenyzz | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | 𝖘𝖆𝖚K | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | ℝ𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕩𝕖𝕣 | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | DaMagicZeppelin | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kenyzz | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | 𝖘𝖆𝖚K | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | ℝ𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕩𝕖𝕣 | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | DaMagicZeppelin | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | Kapeika | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℝ𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕩𝕖𝕣 | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | DaMagicZeppelin | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℝ𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕩𝕖𝕣 | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | kenyzz | 16 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | 😿relaxianion😰 | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kapeika | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝖘𝖆𝖚K | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaMagicZeppelin | +1.48 | 62 | 29 |
| #2 | 𝖘𝖆𝖚K | +1.34 | 70 | 49 |
| #3 | zyga | +1.31 | 50 | 33 |
| #4 | Kapeika | -0.18 | 56 | 31 |
| #5 | 😿relaxianion😰 | -2.01 | 27 | 49 |





