










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 702 | 24% |
| Smokes | 871 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 680 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,911 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dante | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Mestar | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | Jepa | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | J3rba | 60% | 57 |
| #5 | jeti | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jepa | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | J3rba | 60% | 57 |
| #5 | jeti | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | KMPI | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | kassuNd | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeti | 12 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | J3rba | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Mestar | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | kassuNd | 3 | 0.0214 |
| #5 | KMPI | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeti | 250 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mestar | 146 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | J3rba | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | KMPI | 68 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dante | 26 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jepa | +3.51 | 68 | 25 |
| #2 | J3rba | +2.73 | 55 | 51 |
| #3 | moi | +1.44 | 49 | 57 |
| #4 | kassuNd | +1.31 | 56 | 38 |
| #5 | Dante | +0.68 | 74 | 76 |





