








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 947 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1881 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1390 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,606 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clymento | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | pixelshaw | 48% | 192 |
| #3 | Globulos | 47% | 131 |
| #4 | Max | 46% | 70 |
| #5 | Porky | 44% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixelshaw | 74 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | Globulos | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Max | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | BernardTapis | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Clymento | 10 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BernardTapis | 306 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | pixelshaw | 217 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Max | 216 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Porky | 214 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Clymento | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixelshaw | +1.14 | 44 | 46 |
| #2 | Clymento | +0.79 | 24 | 36 |
| #3 | Gay destroyer | +0.63 | 48 | 33 |
| #4 | Porky | +0.44 | 66 | 46 |
| #5 | BernardTapis | -0.84 | 36 | 53 |





