










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1626 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2720 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,090 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hfxim | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | cavsukdoll | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | Folkachi | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | subscribe to Knerd Kollektiv | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Dernita228 | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cavsukdoll | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | Folkachi | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | subscribe to Knerd Kollektiv | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Dernita228 | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | TAB TABITAB | 41% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folkachi | 8 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | cavsukdoll | 6 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | TAB TABITAB | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | subscribe to Knerd Kollektiv | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | hfxim | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAB TABITAB | 93 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Folkachi | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | hfxim | 76 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | subscribe to Knerd Kollektiv | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | cavsukdoll | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folkachi | +3.52 | 74 | 47 |
| #2 | hfxim | +3.50 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | cavsukdoll | +1.25 | 42 | 43 |
| #4 | R0M4N | +0.89 | 59 | 44 |
| #5 | TAB TABITAB | -1.13 | 68 | 28 |





