








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




230 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2959 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3513 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3324 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3118 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,277 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1598 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay4Grits | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | Strafe | 52% | 395 |
| #3 | Ploopyploopy | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | bLaZe | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay4Grits | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | Strafe | 52% | 395 |
| #3 | Ploopyploopy | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | bLaZe | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strafe | 92 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Ploopyploopy | 10 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Gay4Grits | 8 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | bLaZe | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strafe | 604 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | bLaZe | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ploopyploopy | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gay4Grits | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLaZe | +9.03 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Strafe | +6.93 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Gay4Grits | +2.71 | 28 | 22 |
| #4 | Ploopyploopy | +1.75 | 57 | 12 |
| #5 | Jelly | -3.23 | 17 | 35 |





