








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1182 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1374 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1236 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1047 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,263 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emanuel Desperados | 58% | 62 |
| #2 | SheRanEe | 57% | 67 |
| #3 | Personal worker | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | ShaquilleOatmeal | 49% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emanuel Desperados | 58% | 62 |
| #2 | SheRanEe | 57% | 67 |
| #3 | Personal worker | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | ShaquilleOatmeal | 49% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaquilleOatmeal | 27 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Personal worker | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Emanuel Desperados | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | SheRanEe | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SheRanEe | 242 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | ShaquilleOatmeal | 241 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Emanuel Desperados | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Personal worker | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Personal worker | +4.95 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | ShaquilleOatmeal | +2.71 | 73 | 46 |
| #3 | Suwad | -0.43 | 54 | 43 |
| #4 | Emanuel Desperados | -2.06 | 34 | 56 |
| #5 | SheRanEe | -2.24 | 32 | 72 |





