








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2865 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4128 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3914 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3145 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,265 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miXlu | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | Jonsse | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | cat | 54% | 282 |
| #4 | Alpha Male | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | Fest1na | 54% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Fest1na | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Alpha Male | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Patukka | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | LATE | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 1734 | 0.29 | 47 min |
| #2 | Fest1na | 489 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | miXlu | 170 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Alpha Male | 123 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Patukka | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | +2.36 | 67 | 71 |
| #2 | miXlu | +1.43 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | Alpha Male | +0.67 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Fest1na | -0.06 | 52 | 70 |
| #5 | voll1 | -0.09 | 52 | 63 |





