








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1018 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 769 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4215 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6128 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4588 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2470 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,633,138 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kentucky Fried Children | 50% | 254 |
| #2 | Deano | 47% | 528 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kentucky Fried Children | 50% | 254 |
| #2 | Deano | 47% | 528 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deano | 15 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kentucky Fried Children | 15 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kentucky Fried Children | 893 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | Deano | 571 | 0.05 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deano | +0.45 | 40 | 58 |
| #2 | ***** hams | -0.80 | 28 | 41 |
| #3 | Kentucky Fried Children | -1.64 | 10 | 58 |





