








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1516 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1343 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1992 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1215 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,548 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don | 47% | 62 |
| #2 | AFTERMATH | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | ajs | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | week old hotdog water | 44% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don | 47% | 62 |
| #2 | AFTERMATH | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | ajs | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | week old hotdog water | 44% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | week old hotdog water | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Don | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | AFTERMATH | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | ajs | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | week old hotdog water | 94 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | Don | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ajs | 47 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | AFTERMATH | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daniel | +2.30 | 70 | 54 |
| #2 | ajs | +0.76 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | week old hotdog water | -0.43 | 64 | 44 |
| #4 | Don | -0.90 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | AFTERMATH | -3.04 | 47 | 53 |





