










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3060 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3355 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2716 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3725 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,011,614 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharky | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Gremlin | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | onorcay untcay | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | 𝕵 𝖀 𝕯 𝕰 | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | FLU1D | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharky | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Gremlin | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | onorcay untcay | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | 𝕵 𝖀 𝕯 𝕰 | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | FLU1D | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onorcay untcay | 16 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | FLU1D | 16 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | 𝕵 𝖀 𝕯 𝕰 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Gremlin | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Sharky | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onorcay untcay | 288 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | FLU1D | 189 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gremlin | 158 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | 𝕵 𝖀 𝕯 𝕰 | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sharky | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓆩𝖜𝖆𝖎𝖋𝖚𓆪 | +2.97 | 63 | 64 |
| #2 | 𝕵 𝖀 𝕯 𝕰 | +0.17 | 68 | 15 |
| #3 | Gremlin | -0.89 | 55 | 35 |
| #4 | FLU1D | -1.41 | 45 | 51 |
| #5 | Sharky | -1.94 | 60 | 14 |





