








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1443 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1535 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,339 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpionHefe420 | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | đđđđđđ | 45 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #3 | āšÛŖÛđ¯đđđ | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kenpachi_Zaraki_13 | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | đŊ đ đ đ đ
| 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |





