








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 211 matches | 1,950 | |
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2525 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2371 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2481 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2280 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,399 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emolajsan | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spuffyjr_ | +3.20 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | yock | +2.94 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | ☯ iskall ☯ | +2.38 | 67 | 75 |
| #4 | Prince Libbe | +1.90 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | bawtastic | +1.16 | 58 | 70 |





