








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1473 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1511 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1351 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1679 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,542 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FapAgent | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Pitbull | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | -nubix | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | khelix | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Zigmunds III Autobānis | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | LvRonch | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | Herosz | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Matusejs* ◥▶ ◀◤ | 47% | 49 |
| #11 | efukters | 46% | 39 |
| #12 | Ikari__ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Matusejs* ◥▶ ◀◤ | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Zigmunds III Autobānis | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | efukters | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Pitbull | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 240 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Zigmunds III Autobānis | 124 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ikari__ | 124 | 0.47 | 3 min |
| #4 | LvRonch | 104 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Herosz | 93 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | +4.26 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | khelix | +3.64 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | -nubix | +2.18 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | Zigmunds III Autobānis | +1.46 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | efukters | +0.64 | 62 | 58 |





