








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 170 | 24% |
| Smokes | 217 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 172 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 152 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,803 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kraken | 80% | 5 |
| 69% | 13 | ||
| #3 | biggie cheese | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | Vertilix | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Cagnus Marlsen | 51% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cagnus Marlsen | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | biggie cheese | 6 | 0.0050 |
| 2 | 0.0077 | ||
| #4 | Kraken | 2 | 0.0222 |
| 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biggie cheese | 109 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cagnus Marlsen | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kraken | 44 | 0.49 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vertilix | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vibing | 24 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biggie cheese | +5.67 | 92 | 44 |
| #2 | Vertilix | +3.58 | 95 | 33 |
| #3 | Kraken | +3.24 | 56 | 74 |
| +0.09 | 45 | 23 | ||
| #5 | mao zedong | -1.00 | 38 | 30 |





