










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1263 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1566 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1261 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,942 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Franca ich will dich flanca | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | Filibaritsch | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | | 45% | 67 |
| #5 | 🍔 | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🍔 | 30 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | Franca ich will dich flanca | 12 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Filibaritsch | 7 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | youcantkillmeihaveplotarmor | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 287 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | youcantkillmeihaveplotarmor | 204 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | 🍔 | 159 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Franca ich will dich flanca | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Filibaritsch | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | +2.02 | 37 | 72 |
| #2 | Franca ich will dich flanca | +0.86 | 26 | 39 |
| #3 | youcantkillmeihaveplotarmor | +0.74 | 48 | 64 |
| #4 | 🍔 | +0.44 | 29 | 52 |
| #5 | Filibaritsch | +0.03 | 63 | 59 |





