








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1454 | 25% |
| Smokes | 969 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2485 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 813 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,999 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Papalingling | 52% | 155 |
| #6 | Agent Mercedes 90' | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | señor pula | 47% | 60 |
| #8 | 60kg moxy | 44% | 54 |
| #9 | LucaFrmDaO | 36% | 47 |





