








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2226 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1359 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1458 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,728 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValcoNN | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | -octav1angg- | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | nichijesus666 | 56% | 147 |
| #4 | Stefander | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | saiyaN- | 51% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | StlwwBion | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | Dinguletz | 39% | 18 |
| #14 | LIKRIANT2 | 38% | 34 |
| #15 | Blade | 37% | 19 |
| #16 | BarbieFan | 33% | 18 |





