








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 241 | 29% |
| Smokes | 303 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 207 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 82 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,985 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krabek | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | KamesVal | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | 2Pec | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | Tadeass06 | 43% | 69 |
| #5 | underlime slopper | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KamesVal | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | 2Pec | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | Tadeass06 | 43% | 69 |
| #5 | underlime slopper | 41% | 64 |
| #6 | KamesParno | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Pec | 15 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | KamesParno | 14 | 0.0234 |
| #3 | Tadeass06 | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | underlime slopper | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | KamesVal | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KamesVal | 182 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | 2Pec | 169 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | underlime slopper | 56 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | KamesParno | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tadeass06 | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KamesVal | +5.44 | 61 | 50 |
| #2 | underlime slopper | +1.49 | 59 | 49 |
| #3 | 2Pec | +0.37 | 32 | 38 |
| #4 | KamesParno | +0.13 | 13 | 23 |
| #5 | Tadeass06 | -1.75 | 14 | 25 |





