








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 412 | 25% |
| Smokes | 539 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,858 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ◯Cesium◯ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Darr1s | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | jesal | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Taav1 | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Motissis | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motissis | 6 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | ◯Cesium◯ | 5 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Taav1 | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Darr1s | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | jesal | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taav1 | 116 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Darr1s | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Motissis | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | jesal | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ◯Cesium◯ | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |





