








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 861 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 637 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6236 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9460 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 5079 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3550 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,632,042 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 799 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BLAZZZ | 52% | 46 |
| #11 | ObsessedWoLF | 51% | 120 |
| #12 | LoGic | 50% | 301 |
| #13 | Shreya | 48% | 189 |
| #14 | REYESZZZ | 47% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _ghost_ | 32 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | LoGic | 27 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | DevilDX_Suhas | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | nexa | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Shreya | 9 | 0.0024 |





