








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1477 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3010 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2445 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2213 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,389 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Vac Sparrow | 51% | 83 |
| #2 | Japetzky | 47% | 229 |
| #3 | hupigeimeri | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Inboxkari | 45% | 160 |
| #5 | ✪ Rambo ✪ | 42% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inboxkari | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Captain Vac Sparrow | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japetzky | 616 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | Inboxkari | 367 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪ Rambo ✪ | 178 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | nurmonhurja | 167 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Captain Vac Sparrow | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japetzky | +2.44 | 74 | 75 |
| #2 | stine | +1.22 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | nurmonhurja | +0.27 | 48 | 79 |
| #4 | Captain Vac Sparrow | -0.25 | 39 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪ Rambo ✪ | -0.41 | 64 | 68 |





