








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 535 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,165 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spongy | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | 0verdr1ve#105 | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | DUDE!?! #105 | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | ⎎⍀⏃☌⏃⋏⏃⏁⍜⍀ | 42% | 57 |
| #5 | ★ℝ𝕒𝕞𝕫★ | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DUDE!?! #105 | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | ⎎⍀⏃☌⏃⋏⏃⏁⍜⍀ | 42% | 57 |
| #5 | ★ℝ𝕒𝕞𝕫★ | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | Pablo | 39% | 77 |
| #7 | ℝ𝕆𝕆𝕀𝕂𝔸𝕋 | 36% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DUDE!?! #105 | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | ℝ𝕆𝕆𝕀𝕂𝔸𝕋 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ⎎⍀⏃☌⏃⋏⏃⏁⍜⍀ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ★ℝ𝕒𝕞𝕫★ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Pablo | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℝ𝕆𝕆𝕀𝕂𝔸𝕋 | 154 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pablo | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ⎎⍀⏃☌⏃⋏⏃⏁⍜⍀ | 98 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | spongy | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ★ℝ𝕒𝕞𝕫★ | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0verdr1ve#105 | +3.85 | 54 | 47 |
| #2 | ☠︎Grim☠ | +1.95 | 71 | 30 |
| #3 | spongy | +0.90 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | Pablo | -0.90 | 11 | 27 |
| #5 | ℝ𝕆𝕆𝕀𝕂𝔸𝕋 | -1.03 | 14 | 38 |





