










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 57% |
| Smokes | 104 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 24 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 26 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,199 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezcah | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Ted Roastbeef | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | IngoSpieltBingo | 39% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezcah | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Ted Roastbeef | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | IngoSpieltBingo | 39% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IngoSpieltBingo | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IngoSpieltBingo | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ezcah | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ted Roastbeef | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IngoSpieltBingo | +0.57 | 19 | 48 |
| #2 | Ezcah | +0.18 | 33 | 32 |
| #3 | Selim | -1.60 | 18 | 21 |
| #4 | Ted Roastbeef | -2.15 | 87 | 59 |





