










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1545 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1493 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,477 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sperdiS | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | 𝖕𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖎 | 68% | 56 |
| #3 | Hamtaro | 66% | 53 |
| #4 | Gohiti ツ | 66% | 29 |
| #5 | Sibelius | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miki Mouc | 244 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | 𝖕𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖎 | 233 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | mukanaolija | 138 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hamtaro | 138 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | dwi | 69 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sperdiS | +3.77 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | spiidyyy | +2.61 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | Gohiti ツ | +2.03 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | toni | +1.54 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | 𝖕𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖎 | +0.96 | 56 | 79 |





