










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1703 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2316 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,801 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A13X919 | 47% | 129 |
| #2 | ƚɘǫǫuͶɔMʏ|ᴎO | 44% | 299 |
| #3 | WoLF InstiiNct | 27% | 37 |
| #4 | ☮👽μάντραξ™ ☯ ☮ | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A13X919 | 47% | 129 |
| #2 | ƚɘǫǫuͶɔMʏ|ᴎO | 44% | 299 |
| #3 | WoLF InstiiNct | 27% | 37 |
| #4 | ☮👽μάντραξ™ ☯ ☮ | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƚɘǫǫuͶɔMʏ|ᴎO | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | A13X919 | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | WoLF InstiiNct | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ☮👽μάντραξ™ ☯ ☮ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƚɘǫǫuͶɔMʏ|ᴎO | 686 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | A13X919 | 296 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | ☮👽μάντραξ™ ☯ ☮ | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | WoLF InstiiNct | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A13X919 | +0.47 | 37 | 59 |
| #2 | ʏɿɿu|ꟻɔMʏ|ᴎO | +0.19 | 34 | 33 |
| #3 | ☮👽μάντραξ™ ☯ ☮ | -0.00 | 48 | 50 |
| #4 | ƚɘǫǫuͶɔMʏ|ᴎO | -1.53 | 36 | 47 |
| #5 | WoLF InstiiNct | -2.91 | 16 | 47 |





