








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 355 matches | 1,273 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 62 | 1% |
| Smokes | 3026 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1766 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,812,427 of utility $338 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabbe | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | Kingen | 49% | 216 |
| #3 | BIGGIE | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Vilbob | 46% | 169 |
| #5 | Lillie | 46% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabbe | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | Kingen | 49% | 216 |
| #3 | BIGGIE | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Vilbob | 46% | 169 |
| #5 | Lillie | 46% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingen | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Fabbe | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Lillie | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingen | 522 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Vilbob | 267 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lillie | 170 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fabbe | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | BIGGIE | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabbe | +8.08 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Kingen | +6.72 | 70 | 50 |
| #3 | BIGGIE | +1.17 | 57 | 57 |
| #4 | Vilbob | -1.77 | 32 | 62 |
| #5 | minelma | -2.96 | 21 | 26 |





