








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10840 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6001 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6162 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4667 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,544,243 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | En1gm4tic | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | akaJer | 50% | 224 |
| #4 | MFFresh | 49% | 233 |
| #5 | grandma | 47% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | En1gm4tic | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | akaJer | 50% | 224 |
| #4 | MFFresh | 49% | 233 |
| #5 | grandma | 47% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akaJer | 33 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | MFFresh | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | grandma | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | chris | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akaJer | 699 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | MFFresh | 663 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | En1gm4tic | 449 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #4 | grandma | 378 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #5 | chris | 193 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grandma | +4.47 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | En1gm4tic | +3.30 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | chris | +0.95 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | akaJer | +0.95 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | Willie Phister | +0.26 | 68 | 67 |





