








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1120 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2042 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1941 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1475 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,432 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verkkonautti | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Baconslayer666 | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | eeuusi | 47% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verkkonautti | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Baconslayer666 | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | eeuusi | 47% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eeuusi | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Baconslayer666 | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Verkkonautti | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eeuusi | 378 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Baconslayer666 | 255 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Verkkonautti | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FirkinFox | +3.10 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Verkkonautti | -0.22 | 42 | 64 |
| #3 | eeuusi | -2.13 | 26 | 43 |
| #4 | Baconslayer666 | -2.39 | 40 | 50 |





