








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2833 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2674 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2189 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,242 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 660 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpul | 43% | 158 |
| #2 | WaRninG !? | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | R02kurw1470r | 41% | 64 |
| #4 | Go0d_MoRninG | 39% | 92 |
| #5 | Sob0w | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpul | 43% | 158 |
| #2 | WaRninG !? | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | R02kurw1470r | 41% | 64 |
| #4 | Go0d_MoRninG | 39% | 92 |
| #5 | Sob0w | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpul | 37 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Go0d_MoRninG | 25 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | Sob0w | 24 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | R02kurw1470r | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | WaRninG !? | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpul | 302 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sob0w | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | R02kurw1470r | 136 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Go0d_MoRninG | 126 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | WaRninG !? | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpul | +3.07 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Sob0w | +1.38 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | fifarafa | -0.19 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | R02kurw1470r | -0.73 | 34 | 48 |
| #5 | Go0d_MoRninG | -3.34 | 46 | 44 |





