










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1773 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1544 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1516 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,008 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | fartonchik. | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | Acubens | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | ꑭ skuka ꑭ | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Meush | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | fartonchik. | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | Acubens | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | ꑭ skuka ꑭ | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Meush | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acubens | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | fartonchik. | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | MEOW | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acubens | 247 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | MEOW | 80 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | fartonchik. | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ꑭ skuka ꑭ | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Meush | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ꑭ skuka ꑭ | +4.10 | 95 | 48 |
| #2 | Acubens | +2.41 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | √boofly | +1.38 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | fartonchik. | -0.08 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | MEOW | -2.87 | 41 | 47 |





