








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 36% |
| Smokes | 289 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 427 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,321 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolli, the sheep | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Peppi | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | FSX Theo | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | rideax | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolli, the sheep | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Peppi | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | FSX Theo | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | rideax | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rideax | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | FSX Theo | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FSX Theo | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Peppi | 21 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | rideax | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolli, the sheep | +2.06 | 32 | 11 |
| #2 | delector | +0.44 | 49 | 45 |
| #3 | rideax | -0.24 | 39 | 36 |
| #4 | FSX Theo | -1.20 | 39 | 41 |
| #5 | Peppi | -1.93 | 25 | 53 |





