








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4036 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2666 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2824 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3168 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,135 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | asdf | 54% | 93 |
| #3 | Kai | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | asdf | 54% | 93 |
| #3 | Kai | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdf | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Juan | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdf | 350 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kai | 271 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Juan | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | おまんこ KeyDrop.com | +0.91 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Kai | -0.27 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Juan | -1.01 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | asdf | -2.15 | 46 | 69 |





